Poker Night
by Tys1990
Summary: Joker's night of relaxation, with two other comic book characters that are also able to break the fourth wall, as they talk about their movie roles. Rated for some minor language. A random oneshot.


Disclaimer: Okay this is going to be a long one so pay attention. *Takes a deep breath* I do not own any of the following, 'Batman', 'The Dark Night', Batman (1960's T.V version) 'Deadpool', 'X-Men Origins: Wolverine', 'X-Men: The Last Stand', 'The Mask', 'Son of the Mask', 'Futurama', 'The Simpsons', 'Fox Entertainment' (or whatever it is), Jim Carrey, Jack Nicolson, Heath Ledger (RIP) or Ryan Reynolds.

You got all that? You damn well better.

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Poker Night

After a stressful encounter with Batman, Joker was in need of some relaxation but luckily for him tonight was a night when he just relax with people who he could have an intelligent conversation with,

"Will you cut the deck already Mask!?"

And of course play some poker with people just as crazy as him.

Sat at the poker table was an unusual gathering of people to say the least; one of them was dressed in a purple suit and had a very pale face with green hair, the Clown-Prince of Crime, The Joker. Another was in a red and black outfit that left no exposed skin what so ever, the Merc with the Mouth, Deadpool. Finally the one currently shuffling the cards was a man wearing a yellow with black pinstriped suit and had a green bald head, The Living Cartoon, The Mask.

"Cut the deck? If you say so."

Mask then proceeded to put the cards on the table and then from out of nowhere pulled out a huge double edged axe and brought it down on the deck of cards and through the table as well.

"Damn it Mask! You didn't have to cut the table in two as well!" Joker shouted out,

Mask just grinned sheepishly,

"Erm … Oops?"

Deadpool tried to get the evening back on track before it degraded into a full scale fight,

"Chill guys, chill. We're here to relax remember? Mask fix the table and this time I'll cut the deck."

"Aww … but you did it last time."

"Well you should have thought about that before then shouldn't you?"

Almost instantly the table was fixed by Mask's whirlwind of motion and soon each of the men had a hand dealt, soon however Joker noticed that there was a change in Deadpool from last Poker Night,

"What's the problem Deady?"

"I just saw that new movie I was supposed to be in."

"You mean that X-Men Origins?"

"Yep."

"What's wrong with it?"

"What's wrong with it!? I had like a total of about five minutes of pure awesomeness and then I'm virtually unseen for the rest of the movie except for the climatic epic showdown with Logan and all they made me out to be was some mindless puppet that, even with some of the best abilities mutant abilities added to it, ended up getting it's ass handed to it by Logan and his Bro."

"So you were just a side character?"

"Yeah and then the bastards killed me off in it. I mean come on I'm so awesome I could have had my own movie franchise after 'Last Stand' but noooo, they needed more X-Men, now I know how 'Futurama' felt when Fox wanted more 'Simpsons'. I mean come on Logan could have at least snapped me out of their control so that I could have had a spin off. Does he do that? No. He cuts my fucking head of and my body falls into a collapsing cooling tower on an island where virtually no one goes. How the hell am I supposed to get my own movie franchise now?"

"Sucks to be you."

"Your damn right it does. At least you got some big name stars to play you Chuckles. Jack Nicholson and Heath Ledger, you're a lucky son of a bitch, you know that right."

"Hey! They didn't always get it right."

"Oh yeah. There was that crappy T.V show during the sixties."

"Don't remind me. At least with Nicholson he could actually pull off being sinister and he really seemed to be able to be quite close to how I am in the comics. And Ledger was an amoral, psychotic, homicidal pyromaniac plus he was badarse to say the least, and you can't go wrong with something badarse. Both completely different yet both played me perfectly."

Deadpool just grumbled for a few moments, something about 'lucky sons of bitches' and 'totally worth having my own movie franchise', Mask decided to join the conversation at this point,

"Hey all I needed was just one actor and he was perfect for the role, hell he was practically a living cartoon himself."

"You see Chuckles? Even Mask got a decent shot at a movie franchise, granted it was ruined by 'Son of the Mask' but still the first movie was great."

"What can I say Jim Carry fit me like a glove."

"Yeah, and the dude that played me, I think his name was Ryan Reynolds, he did a good job as well. But it would have been better if I got my own fucking movie."

"Cheer up it could be worse."

"In what way Mask?"

"You could have the hordes of rabid fangirls, like Joker here, especially the ones that appeared after 'Dark Knight'."

"That is a valid point."

"Oh god, you two had to remind me of them didn't you."

"Don't worry they scary fangirls can't get you."

"Have you seen what some of them come up with? I mean it's bad enough when some of them genuinely think I'm real, but some of start coming up with their own stuff and believe me it's scary."

"Their own stuff?"

Joker shuddered,

"Yeah … fanart and fanfiction, I mean sure the stuff with me and Harley is okay and all, but when they put themselves in place of Harley, that's when it gets a little creepy."

"Wow ... that is creepy Chuckles."

"It gets worse."

"Worse?"

"Yes … much worse … you see some of these fangirls actually pair me up with … oh man I'm almost sick just thinking about it …they pair me with … with … Batman!"

"Damn. And people have the nerve to call us crazy."

Realizing that the game was pretty much canceled Mask decided to make a new suggestion,

"Hey guys. Since we don't seem to be in the mood for poker, how about we go out drinking?"

"I'm in!"

"Sounds like a laugh."

"Now where should we go?"

After a moment's hesitation they all answered at once,

"AMSTERDAM!"

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Just some random idea that had been in my head for a few days that I decided to get down.

Now onto the important stuff.

I am in no way homophobic, nor do I have a problem with fangirls, fanart or fanfiction (well that last one was a given).

"Feel free to review and constructive criticism is always welcome."


End file.
